I am not a religious
person. Generally I have a lot of respect for the choices people make regarding
their religion. What I don’t like is when people try to force their beliefs on
me.
I’m sitting
at restaurant at having a discussion with my friend Sarah about some of the
women I had hooked up with recently. A lady sitting two tables away got up,
came over to my table and sat down. She said to me “You need the lord in your
life to provide you with guidance”.
Sarah and I just
stared at each other in disbelief. For those that know me well, know that I am outspoken
and will freely share my opinion.
I said to
the women “I don’t really see how this is any concern of yours.”
The lady
replied “We are all god’s children and sometimes we need saving from ourselves.
I feel that I have been sent to save you from your life of promiscuity and to
help you find your way. You need a good woman and the bible will help you find
one.”
Are you
fucking kidding me? Why do all the crazies talk to me? I swear it must be the
cologne I wear or something. Sarah is now starting to laugh as she thinks this
is hilarious.
I looked at
the women and said “You mean I should find a woman like one depicted in the
bible?”
The woman
responded with a big smile and said “Son, you are clearly on the path to
salvation. You should come to church with my husband and I. We will help you
find a suitable woman.”
Sarah is now
almost unable to control herself. I can see that her eyes are starting to water
up and she is doing all she can to control her laughter. This is now making
hard for me to keep a straight face.
I smiled
back at the woman and responded, “You are so right. Thank you for helping me. I
believe the bible has already pointed me in the right direction. I think that Ezekiel
23 talks about such a suitable women. Thank you some much for you so much for
you concern but I would appreciate it if you were to mind your own fucking
business.”
This woman became
irate and started yelling at me in the restaurant. She was banging her fist on
the table. She was calling me a heathen and yelling how the lord will punish me
for all that I have done and that I must repent before it was too late. Now the
entire restaurant was looking at my table. Sarah now had tears running down her
face and was trying to take in breaths of air while laughing.
The manager
had to remove the lady from the restaurant. She was yelling and screaming the
whole way out the door. I looked at her husband and felt sorry for him. The manager
came over an asked what that was all about. We told him the crazy lady just sat
down at our table and went off. The manager took care of our meal for us and
apologized.
Below is an excerpt
from Ezekiel 23…
Ezekiel
23:19-20
Yet she
increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged
in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large
as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of
stallions.
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