Read this somewhere... so true
I will never quite figure out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I
never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out
why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening a
couple months back, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.'
I said,
'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says
the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just
not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man.'
She
responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am
and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing
that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very
next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went
out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department
store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd
just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
said, 'Let`s get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on
to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let
me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short
of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis
I think I
threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's
go to the cashier.'
I could
hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face
just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said,
'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in
touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping
needs as a woman.'
And just
when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you
just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently
I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter
than her.
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